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Why a Hunting Cameraman’s Job is Better Than Yours

by Conrad Evarts   |  January 10th, 2012 11

How do I know my job is better than yours?

First, everyone tells me so. Second, if it’s blue collar, I probably did some form of your job before I got fired and inspired. A brief look at my pre-camera monkey resume: paperboy, amateur landscaper, snow shoveler, gas fitter, appliance repairman, furniture deliverer, factory janitor, beer fridge stocker at Korean grocery store, pharmacy delivery man, flower delivery man, balloon delivery man, water heater installer, deckhand on a sailboat, cook, dishwasher, day laborer carrying heavy stuff, day laborer carrying light stuff, photo developer, sheet rocker, painter, dumpster diver, auto mechanic (major fail), maintenance man at a pizza crust factory, janitor, tard tackler, salesman of everything from citrus to radio ads, eye-in-the sky traffic reporter, guerilla marketer, telemarketer and many shady vocations I can’t remember or choose not to divulge.

I started paying income taxes when I was 14. I noticed about that age that I needed cash to get out of the poorest neighborhood in Washington State — Hillyard, Google it — so I got a special child labor work permit from the city of Spokane. The next thing I learned was I couldn’t do a boring job, and I spent the next 15 years doing whatever I could not to be crushed by boredom.

One thing I’ve proven to myself is that I’ll take hunger, homelessness and uncertainty over the soul-swallowing demon of boredom. I threw it all away and risked it all over and over until the roulette ball of life landed here: The Number One Camera Monkey for Petersen’s Hunting TV.

Why am I here and you’re there? I’m no career counselor but I think there are three reasons: 1) I’m insane; 2) I have massive cajones that generate gallons of testosterone; and 3) I’m a mastermind. I never chickened out on my dream.

  • Ron

    Well Conrad, that pretty much sums it up, I am speechless, " massive cajones that generate gallons of testosterone" Awesome!

  • skipper Knowles

    a single tear rolls down my cheek! Beautiful! like a meth-addled Kerouac, keep it up.

  • Sandee Evarts

    You forgot the time you tried to shine shoes at the city hall and they kicked you off the property because you didn't have a permit. I think that was at age 11. You found the shoe shine kit at a garage sale and used the money you made from mowing lawns to buy it. You forgot to mention when you started making money you always gave some of it to your mom to help out. Yes you are a pain in the ass, but you earned the right to be so.

  • OrangebaryldaryL

    Like drilling for vaseline with a cast iron glove full of sand.

  • Louie Alcon

    how do I get signed up??

    Louie Alcon

  • Joe

    What the hell is this article about? Big balls because he fell into a job he could talk about? Most of the women I know would be bored stiff by this approach and attitude.

  • jay

    Written like a self involved ,ignorant American twit. The magazines quality has gone downhill and the web site is worse. Like the Maxim of the hunting world. Jay

  • Conrad Evarts

    Jay,

    I'd like to venture a guess as to which humorless corner of the globe you whine from. Could it be a little island of whiners who we taught guerilla warfare to when you showed up in red jackets planning to duel in the town square oh about 1775? Hmmmm? And how can I be ignorant if I know the REAL reason you hold your pinky up when you drink tea? Hmmm?

    • irving

      Well said, Conrad. Let the poor misbegotten sod cry in his cups.

  • Sweden

    I do hope Conrad is making a joke. Otherwise this is just embaressing to the whole community of photographers out there. Im working as a photographer in sweden, (taking still pictures) and i can tell you guys straight upp that being a photographer is not a glamorus job, far from it. But of course it has it´s bright days :)

    (I know the article is old, but i just had to reply)

    /Swedish photograper

  • Bill

    Hmmm… I’m a hunter, a producer, cinematographer, director and Canadian. I owned an ad agency for a number of years specializing in the hunting and shooting industry. Most of my clients were in the US. They hired my company up in Canada, because my staff and I were badass in general at what we do, and also hardcore hunters.

    Now I live in LA and make movies and TV. I understand now why my clients outsourced north, and why so many films are made over the border, and why our economy is booming, and yours is soft. I’ve also hunted with your tough Alaskans and had kids half my age unable to keep up. Canadians medicocre? Okay dude. Obviously you don’t go there much, because if you did, at least in the prairies, you’d find the boys would leave you head first in a snowbank after a bit of bounce, and the girls wouldn’t have anything to do with you. Oh, did I mention our women are way hotter? Our men too for that matter. Not many fatties up north. You wouldn’t stand a chance.

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