Earlier this month, it was announced that the Discovery Channel was (finally) cutting ties with Man vs. Wild star Bear Grylls, who for years has allegedly made a mockery of true survival shows by retreating back to a cozy hotel when the going got tough, and relying on his precious production crew to bail him out of trouble — which he frequently created himself.
”Due to a continuing contractual dispute with Bear Grylls, Discovery has terminated all current productions with him,” Discovery said in a statement.
Grylls’ publicist Heather Krug snapped back in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter.
“Bear’s goal has always been to make life-empowering shows for his many fans around the globe, and he has taken great risks to bring Discovery such award-winning programming over seven seasons,” she said.
Like every public dispute, this one has two distinct sides. Discovery says Bear refused to work with them on two shows that were in his contract and Bear says, well, probably something about liking the warm, salty taste of his own urine. (He said on Twitter last week, “Don’t worry … I’ll be drinking my pee again soon!”)
We’re just happy to say that Grylls is now free to go back to sleeping in disemboweled camels without a cameraman present. But we’re pretty sure the survival market will continue to be saturated with Grylls’ faux-hardcore facade.
In our (sarcastically) humble opinion, he should go away for good. As the Petersen’s editorial crew was compiling our list of people that could adequately replace Bear to submit to Discovery, one thing became quite clear: we’d accept almost anyone. In fact, these eight women could kick his ass….and we’d enjoy watching them much, much more.
<h2>Betty White (And the Rest of the Golden Girls) vs. Wild</h2>We, the online maestros of Petersen’s Hunting, are convinced Betty White is part of some greater conspiracy to control the mass media -- not really, but she is seriously everywhere. Be that as it may, Betty White can take a beating, as evidenced in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18ya0-OZ58s" target="_blank">that Snickers commercial</a>, and her Golden Girls cohorts, may they rest in peace, could all lay the smackdown on Grylls’ British ass. We could just see Bea Arthur and Rue McLanahan whaling on Grylls while Estelle Getty cheers them from the sidelines. Thank you for being a friend, indeed.