Lovin'™-n-Loathin'™ Travel Destinations

Lovin'™-n-Loathin'™ Travel Destinations
Does this Swedish child soldier make me look fat?

For good or bad, "I been everywhere man." Over the years, I've shot video in 24 countries, many repeatedly. I've seen every continent, many islands and nearly all the seas. I've had my fair share of minority moments (me as minority), language barriers, cringing at the sanitation and enduring third world cuisine.  Adobe walls, mud huts, corrugated tin roofs, insane traffic and inefficiency no longer charm me. There are places I love to do my job. There are places I hate to do my job. And there are travel destinations I end up as a fringe benefit to my job.


Love passionately: The Spanish Coast near Tossa de Mar.


Bruno Rosich took me kayaking on the Mediterranean a couple years ago.  We paddled the capes and beaches for four days and camped on the beaches. The sea was wild and challenging in places and peaceful and calm in others. I flipped once, we swam through a dark fissure in a cave and surfed through sandstone canals in the rocks. Purely the highest combination of fun and beauty I've ever experienced. Often times when it was calm bare breasted Spanish women dotted the rocks, boats and sand around us. Tossa, Bruno's summer hometown and the surrounding area, are a true paradise and a career highlight.


Loved: Barcelona, Spain.

I loved it deeply when I first went there. I loved it because there were beautiful women in all directions and great food. Why is the love past tense? I discovered the ladies rarely hables the anglais. Even if a man speaks Spanish, he must dress like a metrosexual to make progress. I always forget my Yasser Arafat scarf.

I like dinner when pioneers ate dinner. 5:00 PM. 9:00 PM is bedtime not dinnertime. Ever wonder why we're the superpower? "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." Someone translate that into Spanish for me.

Final reason I'm cooked on B-lona? Bi-polar men. You say "latin passion" I say "mentally unstable". Tomato tomato.

Love: Stockholm, Sweden.

This is my new and improved Barcelona. Cleaner, the ladies speak great English, are friendlier and across the board, hotter than B-lona. The more John Wayne you are the better. They eat it up. I'm turbo-'merican so if I'm supposed to hide it, I can't play. The food is better and they serve dinner prior to nine PM. Downside, they still subsidize high-roller welfare bums. They call them royalty.

Loathe intensely: Mut, Turkey.

When I hear the term "white-devil" my first response is, "yes, may I help you?" So, being called to prayer at odd hours, being surrounded by minarets and sharing lodging with, the opposite of Uncle Sam's fan club rubs me in a bad way. Why don't I work for the Mut Chamber of Commerce? Filth. Each time I thought there wasn't a filthier way to handle food someone found and implemented it.

"How should we move this bread from one tub to another?"

"Well, we could lift and tip one tub and use gravity to pour the slices untouched into the other tub."

"Or we could handle each slice individually with our filthy hands."

Eureka!!!

"Where should we stack these crates of vegetables?"

"There's sewage dribbling down the stairs below the 'toilet' and running onto the floor."

Bingo!!!

Flies. How does a tub of bread accumulate more flies than a day old gut pile on the edge of a Mexican village? There's a reason we don't use a length of garden hose lying on the floor to cleanse our bungholes. It's called research.

Mut also failed in the soup and strippers departments.

Soup is the batting box before knocking dinner out of the park. Soup is not a complete meal before the age of 75.

Strippers need to strip. I don't care if it's a Muslim country. Strip or wait tables. A quick note to strippers the world over: You only need to talk when there is an emergency (fire or armed robbers) or I'm in violation of local statutes. I don't care where you grew up or plan to attend phlebotomy school, especially in broken English.

***Don't despair, I've got lots more favorites to come. These are just the few that jumped out at me.

Recommended for You

Camping

What's In Your Backcountry Pack?

Tracy Breen

Having just the right amount of lightweight gear can make or break a hunt. Find out the best...

Guns

Top Precision Rifles for Hunting in 2019

Joseph Von Benedikt - April 22, 2019

Here are our top choices for hunting this fall!

Other Game

Today's Updated Turkey Hunting Gear

Joe Arterburn

The most modern ammo and gear increase the odds of bagging a tricky tom this spring.

See More Recommendations

Popular Videos

Cheeseburger Poppers

David Draper shares his recipe for making delicious cheeseburger poppers with wild game in this edition of "Fare Game."

2018 Petersen's Hunting Episode 14: Swamp Bulls

With his Mozambique forest bull in the salt, Craig Boddington sets his sights on the Marromeu grasslands in pursuit of a swamp buffalo.

2018 Petersen's Hunting Episode 12: High Plains Elk

David Draper teams up with Fred Eichler to hunt elk on the high plains of southern Colorado.

See more Popular Videos

Trending Stories

Recipes

8 Best Venison Marinades

Hank Shaw - August 20, 2013

Perhaps the most common question I get about cooking venison is what marinades I use the most.

Survival

Which Firearm Is Best for Bear Defense?

Larry Case - July 11, 2018

If you're spending time in the outdoors where you might encounter bears, carry one of these...

Ammo

America's Top 10 Big Game Cartridges

Joseph von Benedikt - September 19, 2016

These rounds have proven themselves most worthy in the field.

See More Stories

More Stories

Stories

17 Dream Jobs in the Outdoor Industry

Kali Parmley - June 14, 2016

Combining a career with your passions is a goal that is strived for, but not often achieved....

Stories

Steven Rinella: Why I Hunt

Steven Rinella - July 07, 2016

One of the hardest things about being a hunter is trying to explain why I hunt. Whenever I...

Stories

Hunting Guides in Alaska: What Makes Us Hardcore

Zack Shrum - June 05, 2013

"You got the drive for this son?" I grinned, remembering the first words out of Ralph...

See More Stories

GET THE MAGAZINE Subscribe & Save.

Temporary Price Reduction.

SUBSCRIBE NOW

Give a Gift   |   Subscriber Services

PREVIEW THIS MONTH'S ISSUE

GET THE NEWSLETTER Join the List and Never Miss a Thing.

×