August 04, 2011
By Conrad Evarts
Bigfoot Found Manifesto:
In cooperation with the Sasquatch Assimilation Society, I am making a documentary around their integration efforts of a very special Sasquatch in the Helena, Montana area. The circumstances around the Mt. Helena Sasquatch give the leadership at S.A.S. hope that he is a very good candidate for integration. This is ground breaking work in the fight against anti-Sasquatchism in America.
The documentary is called "Bigfoot Found" and will be aired in segments exclusively on my blog; "The View Through My Dirty Lens".
Sasquatch Assimilation Society mission: To fight wild man loneliness through the integration of Sasquatches, Big Foots (Feets?), Skunk Apes, Yetis and North Idahoans into mainstream American society.
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Our effort is in direct opposition to horribly offensive and politically insensitive shows like "Finding Bigfoot " . We at S.A.S. can not ethically stand by and watch this attack on Sasquatches across North America. In fact we are calling for a boycott of all products that advertise on "Finding Bigfoot".
Wikipedia, which is always right, states that Sasquatch (Sesquac if you want to be an insider) is a Salish word meaning "wild man".
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Why do I care about Sasquatch? I identify with Sasquatch. He's socially inept, loves the outdoors is known as a wild man. Believe it or not, was the mascot of my community college. We call him "Skitch". I don't really care for this name, but out of loyalty to my alma mater, Spokane Community College , I'll stick with it.
This is going to be a wild journey combining anthropology, interspecies contact, primatology, ethnohorticultre, hypnotherapy, astrology, dangerology and a bunch of other big terms you'll never hear from those punks on "Finding Bigfoot".