Mt. Helena Sasquatch Wants In

Our groundbreaking work in the struggle against anti-Sasquatchism in America continues. If you are just getting onboard with the equality battle of our generation, please review our manifesto, so you fully understand our mission.

This fight won't be easy and it won't be quick, but together we can win.

S.A.S. Action Alert: We are calling on you to boycott "Planet of the Apes". This shamefully anti-Sasquatchist film uses the thin veneer of a future where apes oppress humans to further the anti-Sasquatchist agenda.

Pending Sasquatch Assimilation Society boycotts include:

• The TV show, "Finding Bigfoot".
• All brands of soap and body wash.
• All shampoos.
• Silverware.
• Cooked food.
• Night vision devices
• The film "Harry and the Hendersons".

What you can do to help:

• Drag road kill 3 yards off the blacktop.
• Report sightings directly to S.A.S. The media is too insensitive to handle them.