Mt. Helena Sasquatch Wants In

August 08, 2011 By Conrad Evarts

Our groundbreaking work in the struggle against anti-Sasquatchism in America continues. If you are just getting onboard with the equality battle of our generation, please review our manifesto, so you fully understand our mission.

This fight won't be easy and it won't be quick, but together we can win.

S.A.S. Action Alert: We are calling on you to boycott "Planet of the Apes". This shamefully anti-Sasquatchist film uses the thin veneer of a future where apes oppress humans to further the anti-Sasquatchist agenda.

Pending Sasquatch Assimilation Society boycotts include:

The TV show, "Finding Bigfoot".

All brands of soap and body wash.

All shampoos.

Silverware.

Cooked food.

Night vision devices

The film "Harry and the Hendersons".

What you can do to help:

Drag road kill 3 yards off the blacktop.

Report sightings directly to S.A.S. The media is too insensitive to handle them.

New for 2021: Burris Oracle X Range-Finding Crossbow Scope

The Burris Oracle X is the first and most advanced range-finding crossbow scope on the market, building on the company's long successes with range-finding optics like the Eliminator riflescope.

New for 2021: 6.8 Western Rifle Cartridge

The 6.8 Western features a .277-caliber bullet loaded into a case that's been optimized to fit longer, heavier bullets. Consider it a .270 on steroids, or more accurately, an improved version of the .270 Winchester Short Magnum, which never gained enough traction to make it mainstream.

Venison Curry Recipe

Hearty and flavorful, this curry is simple to make and requires just a few ingredients you can likely find at your local store. The cooking method turns tough cuts tender, making it a great choice for shoulder and hindquarter cuts from deer, elk and other venison. Bonus points if you use axis deer, which are native to India.